Today I was straightening up things in the house and I came across the "remarks" that I made on July 19th at my mom's funeral (it had to be remarks because in the Catholic faith there isn't a Eulogy and I also only had 3-4 minutes, not sure why the time cap but I did what I could). I know some of your were there, some requested to see a copy and some others weren't able to be there. In tribute to my mother I wanted to post it again. I wrote it so that she could be remembered how I want to remember her and highlight the many special ways that I am blessed to have her as my mother.
Remarks
Claudia Anne Collins was my mother, my friend and the strongest woman I have ever known. She has taught me so many things and life lessons, and, reflecting back on her life, it all seems to make more sense.
You see, the great thing about my mother- and I think many of you will agree is that she lived life to the fullest. She LIVED EVERY MINUTE and then some.
She had a knack for not being on time, but that was only because she wanted to get the most out of whatever she was doing beforehand. It may have been planting a few more flowers, or catching the last 5 minutes of Oprah but she somehow found a way to do it all- just on her own schedule.
If it was a sunny day she was taking advantage of the great weather by gardening, going for a dog walk, visiting Longwood gardens or taking one of her notorious day trips to the shore for a day at the beach.
Even if it was a rainy day, it didn’t matter to my mom because you better believe she had a plan. She would round up friends and family and take trips to museums, art galleries or go antiquing until the weather cleared up.
As a teacher at heart, she didn’t let a moment go by without making it a moment for learning. I think I was the only college freshman that could prepare and formally serve a 5-course dinner, but that was simply just a reflection of years of helping my mother prepare for entertaining friends, which was something she loved to do.
Most of all, what I learned from my mother, was how to love. She always included everyone and supported her family and friends- even if it was just a small handwritten note of good luck or congratulations. She showed me what it meant to be a wife, mother and someone’s companion for life.
You see, 42 years ago she made a choice, and that choice was my father. She couldn’t have chosen a better man. Together they made our house into a home and raised Justin and I into the people we are today. We could always look up into the stands during a swim meet or a game or a school concert and see both of them (at least one of them with a camera in hand), looking right back at us and cheering us on to do our best. While my mom may not be here with us as we move forward, it is comforting for me to know that what I know of love and loving other’s is a reflection of the unwavering and strong bond my parents shared in their marriage.
As a child I often looked to my parents as having all the answers. And through this experience, I realized that there are not always answers and sometimes there are not even words to ease the pain.
But my mother did have one answer that I know will always stand. During my first year of college she gave me a wall hanging, quoting Maya Aneglou. It read: “people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”.
As time goes on, the words we shared may begin to fade but what will always remain steadfast is that, with every chance she got, my mother made sure to let me know how much she loved me, and how much she loved everyone in her life. It may have been a hug and a kiss, or a smile, or a birthday card or a long phone call, but she found a way to keep everyone close to her heart and let them know she cared.
In this past week, our friends and relatives have showered our family with kindness and surrounded us with love- cards, food, flowers , sharing their memories of my mother and so much more-- and these acts are something I know that neither I, nor my family could ever forget.
It is my hope, that as life moves forward, my mother will be remembered by the way she made others feel, the love she gave and the great memories she made with everyone who was fortunate enough to know her.
Although I will miss her so much, I know that I carry her with me in everything that I do and specifically, in the way that I treat those around me.
She was a Loving wife.
An amazing mother
And a Courageous woman,
and I can only hope that, as I grow, I will continue to be more and more like my mother.
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